The acceptance of impermanence. One of the greatest tasks I struggle with. As a writer I deal with it constantly, having to cut out whole sections of a story, even though they are often my favorite part, just because they don’t fit. As an individual learning to cope with the symptoms of schizophrenia, I deal with it in a much more challenging sense.
Before my move to Brazil I was a mess of heightened nerve endings and shaking limbs. I’d not sleep well for days in a row, my mind clinging onto fears of the unknown. I made it out ok, but before doing so had to deal with a lot of anxiety and tension. Worse yet this was not the first time. It seems every time a big change occurs for me, the week before I’m a mess – scared of the unknown.
Part of impermanence is fear. Part is also giving. We grow accustom to people and things in our lives, a comfort level that we imbed into them. Like plants we drop our seeds into everything, hoping that a little part of us will grow inside so that we can find comfort and recognition within them. Where ever we go we do this and at the same time take on other’s seeds of recognition.
What we fail to realize, is that when these people or things leave our lives, they take with them those seeds we have planted in them. Suddenly we somehow feel cheated at having those little parts of our selves taken from us. But ask yourself, isn’t this normal. To know things truly I feel we must be willing to give parts of ourselves, like a gift during the holidays. Feel it as something that was ours becoming theirs. Feel the joy that it brings that person. Holding true to that feeling of giving a good gift and not be towed in by the gravity of the gift.
I’m trying to encourage different perspective of viewing impermanence. By viewing it as a process of giving I hope to inspire a more positive attitude with the changes I face. From writing, to my illness, to even every day struggles – I’ll think of the person, idea, thing or situation, and say; “you’re welcome”.
Question yourself, what is your perspective on impermanence? Does this analogy work for you? Speak out and tell me – what are some of the ways you’ve learned to deal with impermanence? Being just another constant struggler in trying to balance the world of raw reality with peace of mind, I’m curious to know what your take on this is.
