It’s been a good four weeks since I plopped myself down here at this research institute in DC. Aware of the restrictions of not being let off the unit unless accompanied by staff I had originally hoped to (in addition to partaking in a beneficial study) focus my time into working out a balanced routine of meditation, art and writing to help me get a jumpstart once I’ve slid back into US living. Now looking back at the past four weeks, having really tasted the confines of the situation, I’m feeling not only a bit closed in, but also frustrated with the lack of insight I’ve gained here in regards to jumpstarting this routine. There seems to be a direct relationship between the restrictions of the unit and the mental determination to stick to a schedule. I’ve noted that though I do have ample amounts of freedom in how I use my time within the unit, the losely structured schedule provided by the staff seemes to rather hinder then promote self devised routines. Meditations often being interrupted, art and writing practices failing to find inspiration, and the interest to exercise limited to the confines of the campus. I had hoped that isolation from the relative world would give me clearer insight in seeking out the mechanics of these pursuits. A sort of hermitage away from day to day demands. Instead I’m finding a real struggle with motivating myself towards these regards, which I blame in part on my own week resolve to abstain from less demanding tasks (movies, tv, etc.) and in part I feel some blame belongs to the surrounding circumstances of being housed in a restricted clinical unit. So keeping both these in mind, and focusing on what I can affect, my hope is to learn from these observations with the intent of being able to outmaneuver similar obstacles in the future. Firstly that seclusion in and of itself does not bring focus to me, rather the intensity of it tends to push me more towards avoidance techniques then sparking an interest to delve deeper into “focus fine tuning techniques” such as meditation or writing. The need for social interaction and support, I realize plays an important role in my personal self promotion of these habits. Also the ability to change the immediate environment, with something as simple as stepping outside to a coffee shop, grants huge bonus points in motivating both my artistic and spiritual pursuits. Right now the access to such freedoms are limited while I’m in this study, hopefully further observation and determination while here can push me towards better understanding these pursuits and being able to set up a schedule incorporating then. If you have any suggestions in helping me to work around this isolation or any other comments pertaining to setting up a working schedule of meditation and art, please feel free to leave a message below.
